Poopsie DooDoo'd on the Bed...Again!

Mia is very adept at quickly undressing from head to toe and throwing off her diaper before Jay and I realize what's happened. It used to happen whenever Mia pee'd or poo'd in her diaper, but now it happens BEFORE she pee's or poo's in the diaper and if Jay and I aren't careful, we have a nasty mess to clean.

It starts with Mia walking around coyly repeating, "pee pee pee pee" or "doo doo doo doo", almost song-like. If Jay and I are being good parents and paying attention to her (which isn't always...) we ask, "Mia, do you need to pee pee?" or "Do you need to go doo doo, Sweetie?" Ninety-eight percent of the time the answer is "nooooo!" (Her voice is so cute and squeaky, I just melt even though I know she's lying.) She then usually bolts for a room (any room), closes the door behind her and is butt naked in whichever room she ran to within a matter of seconds and getting in position to drop a steamin' pile of poo or a stream of pee by the time we catch up to her. It's amazing how fast she moves, but not so amusing when we're too late to intercept a dookie incident on her fluffy rug.

Needless to say, today I had a dookie incident. Mia took a 2 hour nap (yay!!!) and I heard her talking to herself in her room while I was surfing the internet. Knowing she was now awake from her nap, I cheerfully walked into her room to find her butt naked in her crib with her clothes and diaper thrown in the middle of the room. Mia was standing in one corner of her crib pointing to something in the other corner her crib and babbling away about something to me when I heard "doo doo doo" in the midst of her babbles. Quickly I asked, "Do you need to doo doo, Sweetheart?" But even as I was asking the question, my heart was sinking, because she was shaking her head from side to side (as if to say, "no") while pointing inside her crib. Hesitantly, I walked to the edge of her crib and peered inside. Yep, a big steaming pile of poop complete with corn kernels was lying on top of her mattress, while Mia just nodded her head up and down (as if to say, "yep, that's mine").

Oh joy.

At least I didn't step in it like Jay did once while we were at the Lotte Hotel... THAT was funny!

(Mia peeking around the corner while in "time out" for something entirely different...)

Getting Brave and Doing Some Exploration...

Now that we've been here a week, Jay and I decided to get brave and attempt to go somewhere on the subway. You need to understand just how brave we are by attempting this on our own, since we have no clue where we should go, how to get there by subway, what we would do once we got there, or how to get back on the subway once done. We are brave and adventurous, and probably a little full of ourselves.

We walk to the subway following the picture signs since we can't read Korean, and once there we stop, taking in the chaos and trying to decide what to do next. Jay sees the money machines, okay, then he mentions that you can buy a card somewhere where all you need to do is scan your card to get on the train and put more money on it when it runs low so you don't have to keep buying tickets. Cool, so how do we get those? No clue... great. We found a ticket booth, and as we walked to it, we were approached by a nice gentleman who was wearing a "Volunteer" vest and asked us, in English, if we needed any help. "Yes, thank you!" was my reply, and Jay gave me an annoyed look. Men... they always act like they know what's going on even when they don't have a clue. The man showed us how to work the ticket booth (an electronic touch screen), how to select English, how to select which route we wanted, how to pay for the ticket, and even where to go to catch the correct train. All the while, Jay was very annoyed and acted as if he had known all along what to do and where to go. When the helpful volunteer left, I asked Jay what was wrong and he replied that he wanted to figure it out on his own, no matter how long it took him to figure out, no matter how impatient his wife and toddler were getting, it was just very important to him to be able to figure this stuff out on his own. Now it was my turn to be annoyed, and in a pissy attitude, I told him, "fine, figure it out on your own, I won't ask questions, I'll just let you figure out what we're supposed to be doing, and if we get lost, you can ask for help, because I'm done with this." Yeah, I can be temperamental...

With Jay and I bickering the whole way, we made it to the gate of the train we wanted to take, and Jay went first through, inserting his ticket, and then I watched another woman go through, and she just scanned a card, "oh cool, I thought, we need to get one of those cards." Then I inserted my ticket, and pushed my way through the gate, and we walked to the train, which had just pulled up (great timing) and boarded the train. It was very crowded and with my adrenaline pumping from the adventure of it all, I stopped feeling pissy toward Jay, and started enjoying the experience. We figured out how to know when we were at the right stop, and we got off on our stop. Everything was working out really great, then a thought hit me as we walked up the stairs to exit the subway... "Jay, " I asked, "how do they know we paid for a round trip fare when they took our tickets at the beginning of the trip?" But before I could finish my question, we came to the gates to let us out, and I watched as Jay inserted his ticket, pass through the gate, and take the ticket out of the top slot of the gate booth. WTF?!!! I didn't have my ticket, so I just tried to go through the gate (I'm leaving the subway, not getting on, anyway), but it wouldn't let me through. Jay turned around and asked, "where's your ticket?" Realizing my incredible mistake, I blushed, and answered, "at the entrance gate, I didn't know you had to pick it back up at the top...". Jay found this hilarious, especially b/c I had been so pissy with him just a few minutes before, and started laughing at me as I was stuck behind the gate. Not knowing what else to do, Jay ran to a ticket booth and bought me another round trip ticket, and laughing, handed me my new ticket, just as we watched a little old lady push open a side gate to get through with her cart. Oh, I didn't need a ticket to get out, after all, so I followed the old lady out, clutching my new ticket, feeling like a total idiot. I also felt like a jackass because I had been giving Jay a hard time about things before, and even though I had asked for help, I still didn't have a clue what I was doing. Ooops, live and learn, right?

We explored a little, realized we had chosen a really boring stop to get off on, and got back on the subway, heading back to the hotel, and decided we would take different routes next time. On the train, an older Korean gentleman was watching us (which we're used to by now, I guess there aren't a lot of blondes around here and understand we're a bit of a side show attraction to them) and before he got off his stop, he bowed to us and gave us a calender he was carrying. "A gift to you," he said as he presented it to us. Utterly taken by surprise, Jay and I took the calender and bowed back and thanked him. I felt like we should have given him something in return, but we didn't have anything to give him. I didn't know if we should have introduced ourselves, or offered him anything else, but I thought it was so incredibly nice of him to give us the calender. It's one of those basic desk calenders that sit on top of your desk or work area and you can write on it and such, and it's all in Korean (which I think is pretty cool). I really need to get a book on Korean customs so I'm not caught off guard anymore and respond appropriately. I think the thing that causes me most anxiety is that I'll unintentionally offend someone, and not be able to apologize for it. I don't want to come off as the rude, arrogant American. The Koreans are very graceful and polite and I'm glad Mia will be living here, so hopefully some of that will rub off on her.

I guess I'm going to have to get the Rosetta Stone for Korean after all, so I can learn to communicate here. How do you say, "sorry, I'm just an ignorant American" in Korean?

Finding our way to (through, around, and back again) PUSAN!!!

Picture this... a rusted, blue 1994 Kia Sephia with leopard print seat covers, new tires, but BAD shocks, riding low to the ground, with a car seat in the middle back seat, and bags stuffed around both sides of the car seat, a blonde toddler in the car seat, a blonde man driving, and a highlighted blonde woman in the passenger seat, and a bright metallic-purple soccer ball in the rear window of the car, and you have pictured us on our highway adventure driving from Kunsan to Pusan, all by ourselves, not understanding a lick of Korean, and with poorly written instructions on how to get to Pusan from Kunsan. (How do I know they were poorly written instructions, you might ask, b/c half of it was spelled incorrectly, the other half was in picture form of the exits we would see, and they were 5 years old.)





Surprisingly, we made it to the outskirts of Pusan without a hitch. We managed to figure out when not to exit when the directions said to exit and find our way without having to stop for help which was HUGE for me. I even figured out the yellow signs with the picture of a camera on them with a white sign underneath that had a number of meters below it was a warning for a highway camera that many meters ahead. Jay did not know this, and apparently instead of being pulled over by a cop for speeding, they just take pictures of your license plate when speeding on the highways, and you have to pay all the tickets in one lump sum when you go to register the vehicle. That could be pretty painful and there are stories of outgoing pilots selling their POS Kunsan Special cars to incoming pilots for $600 bucks or less and then when the new owner goes to register their new car, they're hit with hundreds of dollars of speeding tickets the previous owner incurred and failed to tell the new owner about. It's a joke to them, but I could see how it wouldn't be so funny when you're the new owner and the old one is long gone. So anyhow, Jay got busted, I'm sure, a few times along the road, and it will be interesting to see how much he has to pay in speeding fines when he has to re-register the car in a year. It doesn't help that the max speed on the highways was only 60 mph (although it does look impressive when listed as 100 km/h).



So we get to Pusan, everything is going great, we switch from the 5 year old directions to the directions given to us by the guys Jay will be working with at Gimhae International Airport, and although the instructions were a bit sparse, we seemed to be following them easily. We went through the first toll, as instructed, and our next instruction to follow was to stay straight until we got through a second toll, then to take the first right after the second toll. Easy enough. What the instructions didn't mention was the highway was going to fork and you had to make the decision ahead of time to get into a left hand lane to stay straight (where the 2nd toll was) or go right and go into the city. I was looking at the city scenery around us, not aware of this conumdrum (sp?) when all of a sudden Jay started YELLING, "LEFT OR RIGHT?!! LEFT OR RIGHT?!! WHAT DO THE DIRECTIONS SAY???! LEFT OR RIGHT??!!" Confused, I refocused on the task at hand, saw what was happening on the road, quickly looked at the directions which told us to continue straight to the 2nd toll. Stupidly, I started yelling back, "TOLL!!! TOLL!!! TOLL!!!" not quite sure which way (left or right) was straight. Mia, of course, had no idea what we were yelling about and started her frantic, panicky scream-cry which only added to the tension Jay and I were suddenly feeling, and Jay took the command decision and veered right, while I kept yelling, "NO!!! NO!!! NO!!!" Too late, we were now in the midst of a city with no English street signs, no neat street markings, too many cars, too many pedestrians, too much chaos. We both knew instantly we had made a BIG mistake.



After driving around in circles for what felt like an eternity, yelling at each other about whose fault it was we were lost in the first place, and trying to shush or placate a crying Mia, we finally found our way back onto the highway we should never have gotten off in the first place. We have both agreed in the future, we will never drive in the city after this experience, and will learn to take the subways and buses if the need ever arises to go downtown. We did manage to get back on track, and we finally found the Lotte Hotel which is to be our temporary residence for the next 3 weeks or so. Of course, we drove to the wrong side of the hotel and stood around looking like idiots waiting for someone to come take our bags and park our car (our super stylish 1994 Kunsan Special), until Jay went into the lobby, found the guy who was to help us get settled, and drove to the right side of the hotel where we were met by the hotel greeters and everything started to fall into place.



Right away, we realized we were at a hotel far nicer to what we are usually accustomed to, and we both felt out of place in our "road trip" clothes of old jeans, pullovers, and sneakers. We also both admitted how silly we felt pulling up to such a nice hotel in our beater (and got valet parking for it, too) and wondered how silly we must have looked to everyone else as the hotel greeters pulled the massive amounts of luggage out of our car that was squished into every conceiveable space we could manage to fit something into. Yeah, we were feeling pretty "Beverly Hillbilly"-ish, and that feeling hasn't quite rubbed off, yet. I'm hoping soon it will. Oh well.



So the guy who met us, Paul, a very nice gentleman from Georgia, who likes to gamble and insisted we weren't putting him out, he came to gamble anyway, helped us find our way to check in, we went directly to the 33rd floor where they had an express check in for "club members" and we were given our keys and such for our room on the 34th floor. We went to our room, and were both astounded by how posh everything was. We have an incredible view of downtown Pusan with mountains in the background, everything is high tech, up to date, very, very nice. The bathroom alone is the size of Jay's entire apartment in Kunsan. The tub is one of those extra long ones, so we don't have to bend our knees when we sink all the way in. The commode is, get this, electronic, and it has a bidet (that has a pulsing feature, too), a butt spray, and a butt dryer, and... a HEATED SEAT! We both think Mia will be quite eager to potty train once she sits on the seated heat. I even have my own vanity to put all my makeup and hair crap so it isn't in Jay's way and the counters aren't cluttered. The bed is king sized so I can sprawl out and not kick Jay, and the mattress is so comfy, I could live in this bed!!! Mia loves the bed, too, but she has to sleep in her pack n play so she can't sneak out of bed during the night or in the morning (which she has done before when we forgot the pack n play on other trips).

This hotel also has a department store, with stores not found in ordinary department stores in the U.S. There's Prada, Gucci, Chanel (a lot of Chanel stores), Missoni, etc... . You get the picture, way too expensive for me. Not that I don't fantasize about being brave enough to shop in any of those stores someday, just not yet. There's also a supermarket on the bottom floor, and a subway right next to the hotel. There's a cinema on one floor, and loads of restaraunts like TGIF, Subway, and Krispy Kremes. There's also a CoffeeBean across the street from the hotel (SWEET!) although, I don't think I'll be spotting Nicole Richie or any other celebrities there.

Yep, we're staying in a 5-star hotel, in the middle of downtown Busan, and I'm feeling a bit spoiled. I'm glad I kept my expectations low before coming out here, because now I'm pleasantly surprised at how beautiful everything is, and eager to do some exploring and learning about Koreans during these next few years. Seriously, if any of you want to visit, I don't think anyone will be disappointed visiting Korea... just don't fly over with a toddler, unless you like your pleasure with a little pain and suffering...

Korean Adventures Continued...

So after arriving in Seoul, and finally getting to our hotel in Yongsan, we all fell right to sleep once settled in our room. I was sleeping peacefully, partly due to all the cold medicines I took on the plane, but was awakened by Jay at 3 o'clock in the morning. Jay had heard Mia moving around in her sleep and instead of letting her settle back down, he woke up, got her out of bed and proceeded to wake me up. When I was not so thrilled to be woken up by two hyper Bice's at 3 o'clock in the morning, Jay was like, "come on, Babe, I can't sleep, wake up, Mia wants to play..." Seriously... what are we going to do before dawn in Seoul, Korea? Go to the park? Get some breakfast? Explore the city or shop? No, it's a good time to sleep. Needless to say, Jay is still having some trouble getting his clock back on track though Mia and I seem to have adjusted well to the time change.

The next morning we ate some breakfast then decided to walk around the base to check it out. We went to the base PX (kinda like a Target) and they wouldn't let me in with my ID card. I guess I also needed a "ration card". Damn Army. So we decided to buy me a cell phone at the phone vendor outside of the PX. After carefully selecting a phone I could live with for the next 2 years from the slim pickings I had to choose from, we set up an account, filled out the paperwork, selected the phone plan, and the girl went to activate my phone. While she was calling the phone company to activate my new phone, Mia and I went to check out some of the other vendors nearby while Jay waited for the phone. When we came back, the girl came over to us and said, "sorry, this phone is no longer being sold, you have to pick a different phone." There were only 3 others to pick from and they all sucked. Jay and I were confused, why did they have this phone on display but then refuse to sell it b/c they stopped making them? They made this one, didn't they? Don't they want to sell it even though they're not making new ones? So feeling frustrated, and the bored look on the girl's face making me more so, I said, "forget it, we'll buy a phone somewhere else." Jay was also frustrated and told the girl to give him the paperwork we had filled out. The girl didn't want to hand over the papers, so Jay made her rip them up in front of us. As we walked out, Jay said he farted when Mia and I went to look at other booths, and that it had been really bad. He suggested that might be why the girl didn't want to sell us the phone all of a sudden. I could understand that.

From the PX, we went back to the hotel and looked around the shops at the hotel. Whaddya know?! There is a cell phone shop in the hotel, and they gladly sold me the same phone the other girl wouldn't sell me, set me up with a plan, and Jay didn't fart in the shop, so the deal went through without a hitch! Yay... I have a new cell phone! They even programmed a calling card and showed me how to use it so I can call overseas without using my plan minutes.

We took a taxi that afternoon to the shopping district, InTaeWon (I think that's how it's spelled), and it had been a cold but sunny day all day. Once we got out of the cab and started walking along the shops, it started to snow, then rained and snowed, then just rained... sweet. But we did find a CoffeeBean (woohoo) and my greentea latte kept me nice and warm as we walked the cold, wet streets of Seoul. One thing I've learned very quickly is Koreans are VERY pleasant people, I'm feeling pretty optimistic about things.

The next day we loaded up a cab with our massive bulk of luggage and drove about 100 meters to the bus stop. There we waited for our bus while eating lunch. While we were eating, I noticed others getting on a bus and I asked Jay, "what time does our bus leave?" He answered "11 o'clock". I asked what time it was, he answered "ten fourty-five". Then it hit us, oh crap!!! We've gotta go! Jay jumped up and started grabbing our bags to put on the bus, while I tried to clean up Mia, throw away our trash, and help Jay. Mia, being the independent spirit she is, would not cooperate with us, and at one point ran away from me. I went after her, but she darted out the open door quickly and started running toward the bus. Two privates (? I don't know army ranks, so I'm assuming that's what they were), were watching us as they talked and the guy looked at me like I was crazy and yelled, "your daughter is running into the street!" as I ran by him with my arms full of crap yelling for Mia to stop. Thanks, Asshole, do you think you could help by grabbing her as she ran by you, rather than looking at me, pointing out the obvious, and making me feel even more helpless than I already did? Needless to say, this pushed me over the edge, because Jay came over and gave me a "WTF?!" kind of look when he heard what the guy said. I would like to point out that Mia stopped at the edge of the sidewalk, as I taught her to do, b/c she knows she's not aloud to step onto asphalt without holding mommy or daddy's hand. She never ran into the street. But I was still upset, and when we finally got on the bus, Jay handed Mia to me to sit with me, but I said, "no, she's sitting with you." Then I sat in the seat behind them and put on my big, oversized designer sunglasses and cried silently. It took Jay a while to figure out that I wasn't okay, but by the time he did, I think I cried all the stress out of me and was feeling better. He apologized when we got to our room in Osan, for being a dick earlier, and I felt a lot better.

In Osan, we were able to get our passports stamped with the proper visas so Mia and I are no longer illegal and I'm not coming home in February after all. We also got a stamp on his orders that says I'm allowed to shop in the BX since I don't have a damn ration card. We then went to the BX in Osan and I bought some running shoes and work out clothes, and Jay and I went for a long run while Mia took a nap. Ahhh! My body is still sore (4 days later) but it felt so good! We went exploring around the shops in Osan later that day. I found some paintings that I think would be gorgeous if professionally framed. I also found a LOT of good things to buy for everyone for Christmas. It's going to be a Korean Christmas, everyone!

The next morning, we were going to be leaving around 11 again (to the famed Kunsan, Jay complained about so much) so I went for a run while Jay stayed with Mia in the morning. It was awesome b/c the running path is along the flight line and 2 Blackhawk helicopters and a C-17 landed overhead while I was running. Once again, I'm sore, but it felt great.

We got to Kunsan without any problems. Jay's old room was still empty, so we stayed there and I got to see where my man was living for a year without us. I've got to say it was pretty dismal. The buildings all looked like they were the same from the Korean War, and there really isn't anything to do on base. I guess the good thing was the flight line was along the running path again, but my workout gear was dirty (and still is) so I couldn't go running. Mia and I walked along it, though, and stood at the end of the runway so we could watch the F-16's take off over our heads. It was so cute b/c Mia would get so excited everytime she saw a plane, and she would wave to them as they were taking off. We also got to watch Jay take off both days he had to fly and that was pretty cool. I've never watched him fly, and it was surreal knowing my husband was flying one of the jets flying over our heads. Mia now points at F-16's and yells, "Daddy!" I guess one good thing came out of Kunsan!

Tuesday afternoon, after 2 1/2 BORING days in Kunsan, Jay finished his last flight, and came home, changed clothes, and started loading up our 1994 Kia Sephia (a Kunsan special with rusted blue paint and leopard print car seat covers and new tires) with our copious amounts of luggage (the car was riding low after it was fully loaded) and we set off for the biggest adventure of all.... finding our way to Pusan, all by ourselves on the famed Korean highways!!! YEEEHAWWW!!! Stay tuned... more adventures to come!

Adventures in Korea...(fake smile)

Well, Jay promised me Korea would be an adventure, and he hasn't disappointed!



First of all, the plane ride...

12 hours on a plane with a toddler is an ungodly amount of time to spend on a plane with a toddler no matter how comfortable the seats or courteous the flight staff (thank you, Korean Air), or how many DVD's you have on hand, or how many books you have crammed into a back pack, or how many cheerios, grapes, apples, pears, etc... you have stowed away for her to snack on.... 12 hours is an ungodly amount of time to spend with a toddler on a plane.



Seoul...

We arrived in Seoul late in the afternoon (Korean time) which was actually 0100 back home in Utah, so we were all a bit tired. First thing we do is go through customs which was actually really smooth and fast. Especially considering we weren't sure if Mia and I would be able to get into the country since we didn't know if we had to have visas or not since we have no one helping us get all the info and paperwork needed to make this move. Just a part of our "adventure". Luckily we got our passports stamped and we made our way to baggage claim... all very easy, but then we started hearing announcements of how the luggage for our flight was being delayed due to a "mix-up in baggage..."? We were a bit worried wondering if we were going to get our luggage or if the "mix up" pertained to our luggage being on a connecting flight to Mumbai (b/c there were a LOT of Indians on our flight). We were only in jeopardy of losing 6 big ticket items... 4 suitcases, the pack-n-play, and carseat, no biggie, right? During this time we decided to check out our passport stamps and noticed we only got a stamp for a temporary visa for 90 days... Mia and I were going to have to leave by Feb 2009 according to our passports... uh oh... oh thank god! There's a bag (after 40 min of waiting)!



So YAY!!! We have luggage, a over-tired toddler and now we have to go to the "military" baggage customs check, and are lucky enough to be greeted by a retired AF ("Air Force" for those "civilians" out there) guy who likes to talk and made an army guy wait while he chatted us through the baggage claims. (The army guy was there before us... heee heee heee, army sucks!) So I'm feeling more optomistic, so far everyone is very friendly, things are very clean and modern, I feel safe and cared for.... this could be a great place to live.

We make our way to the bus stop for the courtesy bus to Yongsan (an army base in Seoul where our hotel is) and Mia and I sit and play while Jay gets our tickets. Jay came back after less than 5 minutes (wow, he is fast and efficient, I'm thinking) and I'm then informed that the bus leaves in about 10 min, to which I jumped up and started collecting our things, but then Jay finishes with, "but there are no more seats, so we either have to wait until the 9pm bus or take a city bus to one of the hotels downtown in Seoul then get a cab to Yongsan." Well the next bus was a 2.5 hour wait (nope, not gonna do it), or a city bus, which Jay has never taken and we don't even know which hotel to get off on, in a city neither of us are familiar with or speak the language of (we can't even read Korean), but the obvious choice was the city bus b/c who in their right mind would wait 2.5 hours in a airport with a toddler?

(Yay!!! Adventure!!!) So we make it to the bus depot for the city buses, to which there was a long line. It was FREEZING cold and all the signs were in Korean. Right then I had a change of heart and decided 2.5 hours wasn't so long to wait b/c I had benadryl in my purse (a tablet, but I could break it up and crush it into Mia's orange juice), and I had noticed a CoffeeBean in the airport close to where we would have to wait... the long wait in the airport didn't seem so bad with those options compared to the long lines of chaos in the freezing cold night of the city buses. But, no, Jay was now determined that we would figure out these city buses and get to the hotel so we could all sleep. Note to self, don't be so quick to turn down options without fully realizing what the other options are.

So luckily, there are a lot of helpful Korean airport employees at the bus stop who guide us to where we need to be and help us get our luggage on the bus when it arrives. So we board this bus, blindly trusting that these helpful, Korean, gentleman are indeed getting us to where we need to go, and we set off on the first leg of our Korean "adventure" scared of where we were actually going to end up, but too damn tired to do much about it.

After a 2 hour bus ride (b/c traffic is INSANE in Seoul), we finally get off at a hotel, and immediately find a cab willing to take us to Yongsan. Luckily we're only about 5 min away from Yongsan, but quickly learn at the gate to Yongsan that only "base approved" taxi's are allowed on base, and we were not in a "base approved" taxi. Our taxi driver didn't speak English, and there was much confusion between him and the Korean security guard and I began to become very worried. Luckily, both Korean men insisted Mia and I stay in the taxi (b/c it was "too cold" for the baby) while Jay got to freeze his balls off trying to figure out what to do. All I understood was we had 9 pieces of luggage (carry-on's included) and a toddler and only 2 adults to carry it all, to get to the Dragon Hill Lodge which was less than 100 yards on the other side of the gate. Finally, after about 10 min of arguing between these 3 men (Jay included), a "base approved" taxi happened by, and the security guard flagged him to us rather than allowing him into the base. Sweet. So Jay and I stuffed that little taxi full of our monstrous luggage and crammed ourselves in and the taxi drove us the full 2 min ride to the hotel.

It was a nice hotel (surprising, I know, since it was an Army base), but although there was a concierge service, there was no one willing to help us with all our luggage into the hotel. Now I hate the Army again. So I was given one of those luggage carts that I took out to Jay, we loaded it, and made our way into the lobby to check in. The whole time I was giving the bell hop at the concierge desk the evil eye, but I don't know that he noticed between his apathetic gazes through his coke bottle glasses (nerd). We did finally get to our room, and we stayed awake just long enough to set up Mia's pack-n-play and change into PJ's and then we all passed out at 9pm Korean time. I guess it was good to take the adventure rather than wait for the American bus, after all.

"it never rains in sou-thern ca-li-for-nee-ya..."

Oops, it's been a while since I've added any new posts, I've had a few great ops for posting some funny crap on here, but was too lazy I guess to actually get on and do it. I'm trying to be better at it, and now that Jay got me my own laptop, hopefully I will be.



Right now we're in sunny So Cal for a wonderful week while Jay does some training for his new job in Poo-SoN! I'm so excited to be moving there. not. At least I get this little retreat to my favorite place at the taxpayers expense (thank you, everyone!).



Mia has been good considering how crazy our lives have been living out of hotels and suitcases and not having much of a routine.



It was really easy adjusting to Jay being home, at first, but now we're over that "honeymoon" phase and starting to have "differences of opinions." Not too horrible, and I think the stress we're both under to move to a foreign country without our official orders complete may have something to do with it.



The weather has been incredible here. We are in Long Beach, just a few minutes on PCH from Huntington Beach. I love going there and watching the surfers, it's calming for me. But Mia doesn't care for sand between her toes and I have a hard time getting her to sit still with me. I would love for her to be a baby who likes to dig in the sand, but she doesn't like it touching any surface of her body, so it hasn't been working out the way I'd like. Oh well, I just wonder if I should be laughing out loud at her the way I do... she should work on not being so cute when she cries about the sand and desperately tries not to touch it even though we're surrounded by it. Have you ever put foil on a cat's paws and watched their reaction? It's hilarious, and Mia reminds me of that with the sand.



Now that everyone knows my penchant for cruelty toward animals and children, allow me to describe my love for shopping, even when I'm piss ass broke (like now). Right across from our hotel is Loehmann's (ooh-oooh), a discount clothing store for designer labels, and I've been there, not everyday, but most days this week. I bought a few items I have decided to keep and have returned items twice after deciding they don't look quite right after trying them on back at the hotel. I can't try things on there b/c Mia doesn't allow me that luxury while shopping.



Speaking of Mia and Loehmann's... let me tell you a funny little story. The little booger has a leash b/c she doesn't like to stay in her stroller and she refuses to stay next to me. I forgot her leash at the hotel and had her in the stroller on my first outing to Loehmann's and what did she do? She threw a fit until I released her from the stroller straps and started running around. At first it was fine, annoying, but fine, b/c she ran around the racks of clothes I was looking at, but then, quite suddenly, I couldn't hear or see her and realized she had disappeared right before my eyes.



Picture crouded, overstuffed racks and racks of disarrayed clothes everywhere and me running between them with my arms full of potential buys, pushing an empty stroller, quietly calling, "Mia! Mia, where are you? Mia, Mommy doesn't think this is funny, stop hiding from me!" I was embarrassed to be one of "those" moms who lose their kids at the store and didn't want to call too much attention to myself. Luckily the doors to the store ring loudly whenever someone walks in or out of them and I had a vantage point of the doors where I went to make sure Mia didn't make it in or out of the store.



But my heart was beating too fast, I was starting to hyperventilate, and I could feel the adrenaline and fear pulsating throughout my body. Finally, (like, 2 minutes later) I hear a lady laughing and I guess she recognized the panic in my face b/c she asked me, "is this your little girl?" "Oh, Thank God!" I responded and the lady giggled as she told me Mia was looking at a purse saying, "cute bag, cute bag..." but as soon as Mia saw me, she took off from the purses and ran into the ladies laungerie section to get away from me. Obviously, she thought we were playing a game, and I should have scolded her but I was just relieved to see she was okay.



So as I was casually walking after her, concentrating on slowing my heartrate and breathing down, a different lady (much older and uglier) asked me, "is this your daughter?" "Yes", I replied. "Well you need to control her, she's destroying merchandise," the lady retorted nastily. I quickly scanned the lady and didn't see anything identifying her as an employee of the store and then looked at Mia to double check what she was doing. She had in each of her hands 2 bright blue bras that she was waving wildly back and forth while laughing hysterically, which I thought looked rather comical and cute, and had me just a little worried b/c she seriously looked insane. But the lady made a mistake talking to me in that tone of voice at that particular moment b/c I was coming down from my fear-induced adrenaline high & I responded just as ugly as she had, "She's playing with a couple of bras, I hardly consider that destroying merchandise." Then I bent over to pick up Mia and added, loud enough for the lady to hear, "come on, sweet baby, I think it's time to leave b/c this bitch doesn't understand what it's like to shop with a toddler." "Fucking whore", might have escaped my lips, too, but not because I actually considered her a whore, but b/c I was so overwhelmed by the emotions of thinking I had lost my baby, then finding her, then having some nasty comment thrown my way by a stranger that was uncalled for, and I felt the need to vent my frustations, and really wanted to punch the lady in the face but knew I shouldn't, so decided to demonstrate my anger through super ugly words instead.



I admit, it wasn't nice and not the best thing to do, especially in front of a toddler when she's entering a mimicking phase, but sometimes things just slip out... I can't be perfect all the time! (99.2% of the time is pretty darn good, after all)



Oh well, I'm trying to let it go, but I also have a penchant for holding grudges and that was the ugliest experience I've had here, (aside from a few tart words that escaped my mouth while battling unusually heavy traffic on the 110 a few days ago), so I think I'm doing pretty good and consider this trip to be rather zen-like. It's also catharctic and helps me purge bad thoughts and feelings by posting them on the internet for all the world to see. And I'd like it to be known the whole "fucking whore" comment I made, I did say under my breath, and not as loudly as the other comments I made. I was able to exercise just a little self control in that horrible moment, and for that I am very proud of myself. Plus I didn't hit the old hag... who's to say I'm not still capable of maturing at 32 years of age... let this be proof there is hope for us all!

Clever, Little Monkey!

I should have known my quiet, little munchkin with blank stares and drool dripping from her always open mouth, is a silent, little genius, secretly observing and cataloging the world around her.

She was 6 months old when I first started trying to teach her a trick while in the bathtub. She would always give me a dumb look while I was doing this particular trick, then go back to sucking dirty bathwater out of her squirt toys. Sighing to myself, Iwould think, "maybe someday she'll be interested in learning how to do this, or maybe she's already so smart she knows just what a dork her Mommy really is and will never be caught doing this." After a few months of repeating this funny little thing without any response from her, I quit doing it.

Have you ever heard the quote, "never, never, never quit"? I don't know who said it, but I'll never quit on Mia again.

Today, my sweet, baby girl with her cute, chubby thighs and elbows, did the trick I was so desperate for her to learn months ago, without any prompting from me. While she was taking a bath and drawing on the tub with her crayola tub crayons, a sudden eruption of bubbles exploded from her adorable, baby butt and Mia immediately stopped what she was doing and looked around the tub at the bubbles. After circling herself in the tub and seeing no poop floating or dissolving in the water, she stood up, jutting her proud, sweet potbelly out and... started yelling, "YAY!!!" while clapping her hands together furiously!

FINALLY!!! She gets it! Now she just needs to learn to say, "Yay, I farted!" while clapping like it is the greatest accomplishment in the world, (preferably somewhere like the grocery store on a busy Saturday when she's alone with Daddy) and I will have succeeded in molding my husband's female version of his clone, into a person with a wonderfully sick sense of humor like her Mama's!

Mia is going to be so much fun, I can hardly stand it! And yes, I do realize that I am setting myself up for massive therapy bills in the future when she's old enough to realize that I document all these momentous occassions of her development in a public blog on the internet, but I'm okay with it. I consider psychotherapy a "right of passage" in today's day and age and she's going to be so perfect in every other way, she's got to have that "one" thing to get hung up about... her Mommy's lack of shame!

She is such a clever, little monkey, I wonder what she's going to do next.... I love being her Mommy!

Whoever is doing the Raindance... STOP!

Mia woke up from her nap at 1330. By 1430 I had fed her lunch, lathered her and myself in sunscreen, squeezed us both in bathing suits and coverups, packed the pool bag with snacks, water, more sunscreen, towels, toys and swimhat/swim goggles for Mia, AND ran to Target and bought an inflatable floating device for Mia. Coming out of Target I noticed dark clouds over the previously bright sky. Then on our way to the pool, it started to rain. We drove around Bountiful, killing time, waiting for the rain to clear up, thinking we would still be able to go the pool, but alas, the rain did not clear up, in fact the wind picked up and the temp dropped 12 degrees according to my very accurate (I'm sure) temp gauge in my car. So despondently and reluctantly, I headed back to my place, moved my porch flower pots to at least catch some rain, and put everything back inside, including Mia. We sat on the porch, still in swimwear, hopeful still the rain would stop, but the rain did not stop. So we went inside and watched the weather channel to learn there would be the "possibility of scattered thunderstorms this afternoon and evening." Game over, I thought and changed Mia out of her adorable swimsuit, redressed myself in regular clothes, unpacked the bag and made it a regular diaper bag again, and noticed the sun was shining outside again... wouldn't you know the "scattered thunderstorm" already passed and the clouds are gone and now the day is pool-worthy again, but I no longer feel like packing up the swim bag, changing Mia and myself, and going to the pool. Mother Nature can be a real bee-yotch sometimes.

Adventures in Babysitting!!

Okay, Nicole, don't kill me for telling the whole world about my exciting night babysitting your kids Friday night....please?!

Oh, the Milne kids... they can only be of Nicole as I know her from work. They are smart, funny, independent, get themselves into strange situations they need help out of, and they both definitely have a mind of their own!

So after working a princess shift in the ER (that was actually pretty busy and had me on the move the whole time I was there...all 6 hours), I hurried home as fast as rush hour traffic N.bound I-15 would let me, to pick up my Mia from daycare and then hurry home before Nicole brought over Sophie and Ty. I was nervous and excited to take care of them for the evening b/c I LOVE Nicole and want to do whatever I can for her.

So I get home and immediately start picking up and sweeping (my cats shed double in the summer, it's driving me nuts). I cleaned until Nicole and Tony dropped off the 2 kiddos and then realized I needed to change out of my scrubs (yucko!). Sophie saw the crayons and coloring books and wanted to color which I thought was perfect b/c then I could sneak away for a few minutes and change clothes. It was so cute watching the 3 of them color together at the dining room table and for a few minutes I was sure the night was going to be smooth as butter.

After I changed I came out to find Mia sitting on the table eating crayons (such a proud moment as mom) and Ty and Sophie arguing over a certain color crayon. But Ty's not that old, only about 20 months so it was more grunting and pulling and Sophie yelling at him and pulling and it was kind of comical. Ahh, siblings, I thought. I suggested we go ahead and go to the park right behind my condo and Sophie promptly told me, "I'm not ready yet, I'm still coloring." Okay, no biggie, so I got some sippie cups and gave them all refreshing ice water (which is what Sophie requested) and concentrated on keeping Mia off the table and crayons out of her mouth. Then Sophie asked when they could have pizza and I told her I planned to order pizza after we went to the park. Okay, we're ready for the park now (don't you just love pizza?).

So what is normally a 5 minute walk for me turned into a 20 minute walk b/c Ty and Sophie saw my neighbor's Golden Retriever, Tucker, outside and promptly ran to him. Tucker is not very well trained yet, and still very much a puppy though he's full grown, so I had to tell them to watch out and wait for Steve to get a handle on Tucker. Steve got Tucker under control and while Sophie tried to pet Tucker, Ty started screaming out excitedly but was too afraid to touch the dog. Well, Ty's loud screams (although they were happy screams) and Sophie's hesitant reaching out to touch him, and of course Mia yelling, "dag, dag, dag," and laughing hysterically proved to be too much for poor Tucker and he started jumping to get away from all of them. I had to grab Tucker to keep him from jumping on one of the kids and calm him down while Sophie was able to pet him, but he did remain gentle the whole time. Then Steve and Tucker left and we continued on our way. But Ty spotted a chair in the driveway of one of my neighbors (an elderly Armenian man who doesn't speak English) and ran to it and started climbing into it. My elderly Armenian neighbor was standing there the whole time and trying to tell him to get out of the chair and go back to me, but Ty just stared at him and basically ignored my pleas to come back to me. I was afraid to let go of Mia and Sophie to get Ty so I just kept calling for him hoping he would eventually listen. Finally Ty got bored or he figured out the hand gestures the neighbor was giving (not obscene, I promise) and came running back to me. We then continued SLOWLY on our way only to pause right before the park.

Some hispanic men were playing soccer and some of them had their shirts off. This perked Sophie's interest and wanted to know "why doesn't he have a shirt on?" when I told her he was probably hot, she said, "why?" when I told her it was almost a hundred degrees outside she said, "why?" when I told her it was summer and it's hot in the summer she said, "why?" and this continued, me struggling to form answers to the ever increasing in difficulty question of "why?" until suddenly she said, "okay" and continued on. Hmm... I'm not used to this phase of toddlerhood, something I need to start thinking about, I guess.

Then Ty and Sophie ran to the playground while I walked behind with Mia. When we got there, Ty had already gotten himself stuck on some climbing bars and I was racking my brain trying to figure out how he got there as I helped him down. My favorite though was when Sophie promptly announced, as soon as she got on the jungle gym, "I have to pee now!" There were no bathrooms so I told Sophie we would have to walk back to the condo, go potty, then come back. Sophie pondered that for a few seconds then said, "I can wait". Eeeek, I'm not used to potty trained tikes, can she really hold it I wondered?

Sophie then tried the monkey bars only to discover they were too hard and needed help, only she didn't want to come down, she wanted me to hold her as she continued across the monkey bars. I did b/c I wanted them to have fun and I didn't want to stifle their adventerous behaviors, but quickly learned both Sophie and Ty are heavier than Mia and I had not prepared myself for all the lifting and holding I would end up doing that afternoon. I'm really out of shape!

After going between Sophie and Ty repeatedly to help them climb something they probably shouldn't have been climbing, I suddenly remembered my own 17mo old daughter was on the playground and I didn't have a clue what she was doing. Luckily she was just running back and forth across the wobbly bridge which she does a lot and I know is safe for her. This particular school playground has 2 sets of jungle gyms so after a little while Sophie noticed the other one and she took off followed by Ty, who was followed by Mia. Sooooo cute!!!!

The other jungle gym was a bit higher than the first and I had to be extra vigilant (not that I wasn't before) to make sure all 3 stayed safe. I could only imagine what Nicole would do or say if I had to call her and Tony to tell them one of the kids was in the ER b/c they fell off the jungle gym (aghast!!). So between rescuing one Milne kiddo from the monkey bars (and then helping them across) to turning to the plea, "watch me! watch me!" only to have to run over and make sure they made it across safely as well, I again forgot about little Mia. But once again, she was placating herself running back and forth across the wobbly bridge, and I thought, "thank god she's so easily amused right now!" After all three toddlers had bright red flushed cheeks and I noticed Ty's arms and legs were bright red with a rash (again, "oh no, what is Nicole going to do to me if I let her kids get sunburned or they had a reaction to something??"), I finally convinced them it was time to go (bribed them with pizza, more like it).

So we walked back to the condo, again having the same conversation as before when we passed the soccer players, "why does that man have his shirt off?? why? why? why?" We made it back to my place only to have them not want to come inside when they saw some of the scooters and the motorized atv Mia has in the garage. At least the driveway was shaded so I let them play a little while more, wondering how long Sophie could possibly "hold it" since she had been "holding it" for almost an hour now. I could tell they were getting hungry and tired b/c Mia would take something away from Ty and he would hit her on the head and then she would push him (I tried to be stern with both, but they looked SOO funny fighting, I couldn't help but laugh) then Ty ran over to Sophie and tried to push her off the atv which Sophie responded to by biting Ty on the arm. Ouch!!! She left a doozy of a mark too, so then I told them that was enough, it was time to go in, biting's not appropriate, yadda yadda yadda (trying to sound like a responsible adult, but realizing I might have gotten myself in a bit too deep).

So we made it back up the flight of stairs to my condo and I was sure they would all be exhausted and start settling down by now, but I was terribly wrong. While I helped Sophie on the potty (again, I wasn't prepared and didn't have a stool or potty seat for her) Mia and Ty ran around the house pulling toys off her shelves and out of the toy bins and basically throwing them at each other. I wonder if that's how toddlers this age play with each other? Weird.

So then I ordered pizza while I let them continue this mayhem, just happy no one was fighting, and when the pizza was ordered, I turned on the radio to have a dance party while we waited for the pizza delivery. Mia and Ty both immediately started dancing (again SOOOO cute!!!) but Sophie, who is in dance lessons, didn't want to dance b/c she just wanted to color again. When I asked her to show us some of her dance moves she learned in class, she answered, "no, I'm coloring." I love 3 year olds and their bluntness. So the 3 of us continued dancing while Sophie colored, until the pizza came... Yay!!!!

All 3 followed me into the kitchen when I instructed them to go the table and I would bring them their pizza. Ty wouldn't leave my side and kept repeating, "pizza, pizza, pizza!" with his arms outstretched for the pizza as I frantically cut up a slice for him and gave a slice to Sophie, then I cut up Mia's slice and finally sat down to eat one of my own when I realized Ty was way too small for the dining room table and I only had one high chair that Mia was in. So I got Mia's old bumble seat and put it on the chair to use as a booster for him, and it worked really well. And we all ate while Sophie explained quite well how she has little burps and her mommy has big burps, and Ty has little burps while daddy has big burps, and Mia has little burps while I have big burps, and the whole time I was nodding and saying, "is that right?" in absolute amazement at how the thought process of 3 y/o's are so simple and matter-of-fact. So after everyone had their fill of pizza, I was so happy it was bathtime!

It was easy getting them into the bathtub, not so easy getting them back out! They discovered the bathtub paints and proceeded to cover the walls with them (which is fine, that's what they're for), but things started getting out of control when they started squirting out all the paints just to empty the bottles and they started to spill the paints onto the bathroom floor. After I threw the bathmat in the tub and cleaned off the floor, I started trying to wash them. Mia was cooperative but she kept putting paint in her hair after I washed it and trying to lick paint off her fingers (I was seriously beginning to wonder if there was something "not quite right" about my daughter) and Ty reluctantly let me wash him off, but Sophie flat out refused saying, "I'm not getting clean yet." I tried to tell her that I wash off Mia and then let her continue playing until she's all finished, but Sophie wasn't having it. By now I was pretty tired and my head was spinning and I was wondering if they would sit still on bed to watch a movie or cartoon after the bath, having serious doubts about it, when suddenly Ty announced, "all done!" and climbed right out of the bathtub. I was able to stop him long enough to dry him off and wrap a towel around him while Mia was trying to climb out, too, wanting to follow Ty. I could see Mia was on the verge of a fit and not in the mood to deal with it, I grabbed her, dried her off and wrapped her in her towel while trying to herd the 2 of them into Mia's room to put their diapers and pj's on. Sophie said she wasn't getting out of the tub, yet, and I figured she would be all right for a few minutes while I settled the other 2.

Well, Ty kept passing gas while I was getting Mia's diaper ready and I panicked picturing a poopy mess on her bedroom floor (it just happened last week with Mia and I was not in the mood to clean that up again!), so I decided I needed to put Ty's diaper on first, but had left his diapers in the living room. Seriously bad move. Ty ran out after me, followed by Mia, both buck naked and I grabbed a diaper and tried to get Ty, but he was too fast for me and I grabbed Mia instead and then tried to grab Ty again, got him, but let go of Mia, then thought, "I need to check on Sophie!" So I checked on Sophie and Ty wriggled out of my grasp, Sophie was okay, so I proceeded to chase Ty again when the doorbell rang. Ooops, it wasn't my intention to have 2 naked babies running around a toy littered house with the third one still in the bathtub when Nicole and Tony came back, but that's the way it happened. I can only imagine what they were thinking of me.

I admiringly listened as Tony told Sophie to start cleaning off the bathtub walls and then get out of the bath while Sophie actually did it. I watched at the grace with which Nicole grabbed Ty and got him into a diaper when I remembered I had to get Mia in a diaper. Then while Tony got Ty in his Pj's, Nicole got Sophie in hers, and I got Mia in hers, and things started to feel like they were going to be alright afterall. I overheard Tony telling Ty to pick up toys which he apparently obeyed (WOW!!) and Nicole and I explained to Sophie why Mia couldn't come home with them.

In the end, Mia passed out from exhaustion before I even turned off her light, and I'm just hoping I at least wore out Ty and Sophie for Tony and Nicole since it really appeared I had no control when they came over, which honestly, I didn't. I also hope Tony and Nicole aren't completely afraid of me as a caretaker, b/c I really did have fun with them and Mia was in complete awe of Sophie and Ty then entire evening and believe it or not, I would be completely willing to do it again. But I definitely learned I have to be more authoritative with toddlers and not be afraid to be firm with them. Sophie had me wrapped around her little finger and she knew it and definitely had her way with me, but next time I know, enough means enough, and I need to be the adult instead of letting them tell me what to do.

I'm just glad Jay will be home when Mia is 20mo old b/c I'm all talk and no action. I've come to the realization that I am a huge pushover, and our only chance that Mia will be well-behaved is for Jay to be the disciplinarian. I'm way too much of a softie. I need to take lessons from Tony and Nicole, if they'll ever talk to me again... hopefully Nicole will still be my friend at work!

I SUCK as a single mom!

Okay, so I sit down to check my email for the first time today (it was around 1630), Mia was playing with her doll within sight, but I guess I became too engrossed in my email b/c unbeknownst to me, Mia crawled onto the dining room table (her latest trick) and started stomping around on it. The stomping got my attention and I firmly told her, "Mia, get down from there," and I started to walk toward her when she decided she would crawl into her high chair from the dining room table. I saw it as it was happening and couldn't get there in time to stop it, but of course Mia went tumbling off the dining room table landing face first on our hard floor! Luckily she just has a few bruises and she bit her lip which stopped bleeding shortly after, but I'm still mortified. I have to take her to daycare tomorrow and her black eye (from slipping on the playground step) just healed and now she's going to show up with bruises around her mouth, chin, and shoulder. I promise, I don't abuse her, I do watch her, I'm not neglectful, but the little critter is getting SO FAST and DARING, I just haven't always been able to keep up. I can't wait until Jay comes home and can help me!

By the way, Mia was totally pooping in the header pic!

Just wanted everyone to know, this pic was taken during a "grunt", isn't she cute when she poops?

Just starting- I hope I can keep this up!

Okay, since my life has always been all over the place and is about to get a whole lot more, I thought I'd give this a go. I have met so many people in my life I wish I had stayed in touch with or wondered what they were up to and I'm pretty sure this is going to be easier for me to keep others updated (along with facebook, which I freakin' love!) on the happenings in my own life.

Jay left for Korea at the beginning of the month and it was so much harder to see him go this time than it was before. I know we only have 4 more months of this remote tour thing, but this time I knew what to expect while he's away and I'm not digging the single-mother thing. Oh well, it's the life I chose, I knew what I was getting myself into so there's no use complaining about things I can't change.

But we finally know where we are moving to next, we just don't know exactly when yet.... are you ready for this?....Hohenfels, Germany! 2 years in Europe after 3 great years in Utah, I must have been good in a past life (cuz we all know I haven't been so good in this one), but now I have to knock on wood 3 times so I don't jinx it, ensha'ala, ma'asha'ala, elhumdilyla! I'm a little weary of what Jay's job is going to be, it's an ALO tour (Army Liason Officer, you know how the military has an acronym for EVERYTHING) so he's not flying and I have no idea what he'll be doing with the Army. It's a training base, though, so I'm pretty hopeful there won't be any deployments with the Army (I didn't sign up to be a deployed Army wife) and Jay is thinking his chances of getting back into the jet after this tour are pretty good. I just know I'll be about 100mi from the Alps and 165mi from Milan, Italy and seeing as much as I can while we're there. That second baby may have to wait a few more years...